I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
