Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
