come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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