I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
