You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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