i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
