oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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