idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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