sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
my being single is dangerous.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My vagina just clenched in fear
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
