Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
