Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
