Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
