I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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