What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
