I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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