Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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