Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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