So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
