I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
