your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
