Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I need to stop coming to work sober
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
