sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
