4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
