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• (434): View more from Virginia

  u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it

  (1-434): View more from Virginia

  but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text

  (434): View more from Virginia

  then give me ur phone

  (1-434): View more from Virginia

  NEVER!!

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers

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• (516): View more from New York

  The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.

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• (+45): View more from Denmark

  The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum

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