dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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