I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
