I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
