I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
