Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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