So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
