Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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