well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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