you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i came on her dog
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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