Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
In America we eat man semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
i am craving dick and cupcakes
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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