I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I just want nice things and good sex
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
