I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize