just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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