sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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