We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
