Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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