U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I wish I only lived at night.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
