I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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