No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
