My friends, they love my intelligence
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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