that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
