rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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