I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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