your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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