I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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