I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
