i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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