Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
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