uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
