I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
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