Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
