I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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