if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
