I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Im part way to drunk.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize