I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
