OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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