you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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