So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize